


The Way of the Cat

by wicked3659



Category: due South
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, First Time, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mild Language, Mild Sexual Content, Ray Kowalski is part cat, Remix Revival 2020, because sometimes cats are symbolical, cat Ray is a thing, cat fic, crackfic taken semi-seriously, sometimes they're just cats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:15:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26716612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wicked3659/pseuds/wicked3659
Summary: Curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back.A look at Ray's life and what he's achieved and how being a half-cat freak has both helped and hindered him along the way.
Relationships: Benton Fraser/Ray Kowalski
Comments: 8
Kudos: 19
Collections: Remix Revival 2020





	The Way of the Cat

**Author's Note:**

  * For [feroxargentea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/feroxargentea/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Nobody's Purrfect](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12872895) by [feroxargentea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/feroxargentea/pseuds/feroxargentea). 



> Not beta'd so forgive me for any glaring mistakes.

A cat has absolute emotional honesty: human beings, for one reason or another, may hide their feelings, but a cat does not.

Ernest Hemingway

****

It hurt, he knew it would hurt this much, this wasn’t his first time. There were always stories you heard of cops getting shot and how they felt nothing at the time after they recovered but this didn’t feel like that at all. Ray Kowalski didn’t get that lucky.

He tried to breathe through it, tried to move but his body felt like it was made of lead. He hadn’t been thinking, he’d acted on pure instinct and there would be no recovery, no stories of white lights and getting help at the last minute, no miraculous survival. No, now he was going to die. 

He was going to die alone in a dark warehouse, bleeding out on the floor. This sucked. Really really sucked. As he lay there, his breath coming in pants, Ray wondered if cats really did get nine lives and if he was a half-cat freak then surely he got like half right? Four lives surely? That would be fair. Nothing about this was fair though. “Frase…Ben…shit. Where are you?” he uttered, grimacing as a wave of agony wracked his body and he shivered feeling cold all over. 

Ben, his Mountie - he'd only had a couple of months of being able to call him that - was going to be so pissed. Hell, Ray was beyond angry at this stupid fate. How could he have been so dumb, so reckless? He let out a frustrated noise that sounded suspiciously like a yowl. 

Closing his eyes, his mouth pressed into a thin line. He forced himself to keep his shaky breath steady through his nose. Ray Kowalski knew he was fucked and couldn’t help but run through every decision in his life that had brought him through that dark alley, to this warehouse, to this floor lying in a growing pool of his own blood. 

****

**1970**

“Mrs. Kowalski?”

She looked up and smiled faintly at the Principal. “Yes, where is Stanley?”

“In my office, if you’d come with me please.” 

Barbara Kowalski knew the drill, this wasn’t the first time she had been called to a principal’s office. Her son, her sweet, sensitive Stanley was different, she knew that much and it was becoming more apparent how much different. She hadn’t talked to Damian yet but she’d started noticing certain behaviours that weren’t just a young boy acting out some misplaced sense of rebellion. 

There were stories her grandmother had told her. An uncle and a cousin who had developed animal-like traits, cat-like mannerisms, it had seemed so unbelievable. Not anymore though, it looked like some of those unique family genes had skipped a generation. A mother just knew things about her child and now that Stanley was beginning to struggle with his growing feline nature, she knew it was time to sit down and talk about it. 

She sighed softly when she laid eyes on her son. He looked so small, meek in the chair, and wouldn’t look her in the eye. If he'd had the pointy ears then they would be flat on his head. His hands were constantly moving, fiddling with a folded bit of paper in his fingers. She sat down in the chair beside him and reached out to run a hand gently through his scruffy tawny blonde hair. His eyes closed and he turned his head slightly into her touch with a low hum, not unlike a purr, his bottom lip wobbling. Then he looked up at her, his bright grey eyes afraid yet defiant. Barbara felt her heart beat faster and hoped that she could protect him from the world for just a little longer before it squashed that fierce spirit inside her son. She smiled faintly and cupped his cheek, a thumb brushing over the growing black eye. “It’s going to be alright, Stanley.” 

“I’m afraid it’s quite serious, Mrs. Kowalski,” the principal started explaining. “Stanley bit another student.”

She looked pointedly at her son who shrank down in his seat again with a sullen mutter. 

“He started it.”

“It is irrelevant who started it, Stanley.” The principal chastised with a frown. “The other boy said he was talking to his friend, a girl and Stanley pounced on him, and in the course of their fight, he scratched and bit him.”

Barbara shook her head. “Oh, Stanley. Let me guess, Stella?” 

The principal looked at her in surprise. “Yes, how did you know?” 

Stanley’s mouth screwed up and he looked away from them both, an obvious blush creeping over his cheeks.

“It’s not the first time,” Barbara explained with resignation. “He is quite taken with her.”

“Hmm,” the principal looked somewhat sympathetic. “Be that as it may, he could have really hurt Tommy and so I’m afraid as this isn’t the first time in this office, he will have to be suspended for two weeks.” 

“Is that really necessary?”

“Mrs. Kowalski, you’re fortunate Tommy’s mother isn’t taking the matter any further given that Stanley drew blood. May I suggest that you look into some professional help for Stanley? For his behaviour.”

“I think we’re done here,” Barbara replied quickly. “If there’s nothing else?”

The principal continued gently, “Mrs. Kowalski, there are people who can help children like Stanley really reach their potential and give them methods to manage their behaviour. This is not a bad thing, he could really benefit. I strongly urge you--”

“--I will have a word. This won’t happen again,” Barbara stood and held out her hand. “Come on, Stanley, we’re going to have to talk to your father, he's not going to be happy.” 

The principal watched them leave with a sigh and scowled when Stanley glanced over his shoulder and grinned cheekily at her. Looking down she picked up the paper crane on her desk and studied it with a surprised smile.

****

“It’s not my fault, I didn’t ask for this!” 

Barbara winced when her young son kicked the chair and began to prowl around his room, growling. “I know, sweetheart.”

“What the hell am I supposed to do with this?” 

“Language, son,” Damian warned gruffly. “Remember who you’re talking to.”

Stanley scowled and began to knock everything off the nearby shelf one item at a time, punctuating each of his words, his daring eyes fixed on his parents. “People don’t become cats or even half-cat freaks, that’s just stupid, Mom. This isn’t real. I don’t want it.”

“I know you don’t but this is who you are and ignoring it will just get you into more trouble.”

“Oh and accepting it won’t? I’m a freak, you made me a freak! This is all your fault!” he screamed, yelping when Damian cuffed his ear hard. Wild eyes bright and brimming with tears stared at them before Stanley fled the room still holding his ear. “I hate you!” 

“Really, Damian. Don’t you think he’s dealing with enough?” Barbara looked at her husband who had the decency to look contrite before she went after her boy. 

She found him a short time later at the nearby park, unsurprisingly high up in a large tree. “Stanley, will you come down?”

“Go away!” 

“Now is that any way to talk to someone who’s brought you perogies, I know they’re your favourite.” At the lack of response, she sat at the foot of the tree and began to eat one. “Oh well, more for me.” 

The tree rustled above her and a few leaves fluttered down around her. With a small smile, she held one up above her head and felt it get snatched out of her grasp. “Stanley, I want you to know that this changes nothing. You have always been unique and it’s all those special differences about you that make knowing you so precious. Anyone worth knowing will see that too. Your father and I love you no matter what, we just want you to be fully aware of who you are so others can’t use it to hurt you.” 

Stanley dropped to the ground beside her, graceful and light on the balls of his feet, and slid down the tree trunk to sit beside her, accepting another pierogi. 

“You have a choice, love, you can either fear these changes, these differences that are a part of you, or you can embrace them. Use it to do good, to bring some of your light to the world.”

“You think I can do that...do good with it?”

“I know you can, Stanley. This...gift, it doesn’t change who you are in here,” she placed a hand over his chest. 

“How do you know?”

She smiled at her son and tried to comb his unruly hair from his face. “I know you, Stanley Raymond Kowalski. You are my son, you have the sweetest heart and the world became brighter the day you were born. Besides, have you ever met a cat you didn’t like?” she teased gently. “I’ve seen you befriending all those strays in the alley.”

His entire face lit up in a wide toothy grin and it was like the sun had risen. Barbara leaned forward and kissed his forehead, cupping his face in her hands. “This isn’t going to stop you from doing great things, Stanley. This is your gift and your path and nobody can ever take that away from you.” She petted his hair and face tenderly, her own eyes brimming with tears. "It won't be easy though, love. People won't understand so you can't tell anybody."

Stanley scowled and stared distractedly at a leaf caught in the breeze. "What about, Stella?"

"Stanley, you must understand me, I love you so much, my sweet boy but others, they won't understand it, they won't see past it and see you. So you cannot tell anybody. Not anyone. Not ever."

Stanley buried his face into her chest and wrapped his arms tightly around her with a soft mumble into her sweater. “Love you, mom.”

“So, tell me about this Stella.” She grinned when Stanley burrowed deeper into her arms and whined “mooom” with all the embarrassed angst of a soon to be teenage boy.

****

"Ray!" 

"Fra--" Hearing his voice, Ray's eyes fluttered open and he tried to call out, only to choke, tasting blood in his mouth, his throat too dry.

"Ray!"

Shuddering, Ray tried to turn and kicked out weakly at a nearby barrel which let out a soft clang.

"Ray! Oh God, Ray!" 

Ray felt strong hands on his body and hissed in pain and fear as Ben's worried voice washed over him.

****

**1980**

"Ray! That tickles!" Stella laughed brightly as her lover wrapped his arms around her and continued to kitten lick and nip at her throat playfully. Batting at him, she giggled again when he caught her hands, kissed them, and gently guided her into a twirl before gathering her in his arms again. 

Swaying gently, he danced her through the cool grass beside his GTO, playfully licking the tip of her nose until she snorted with laughter. Spinning her again, he pulled her back flush to him, her back pressed against his chest and nuzzled her hair, breathing in her scent. 

"You and your smelling and your licking," Stella laughed and rested her head back on his shoulder as he kissed along her jaw affectionately. "You're so weird sometimes, Ray."

"You love me anyway," he smiled and nipped the soft skin of her cheek. "You said yes to this weirdo." 

"Oh God, what was I thinking?" She teased. 

Spinning her out and pulling her close, chest to chest, Ray smiled brilliantly at her. "That you love me, you want to kiss me, you want to marry me," he sang.

Chuckling fondly, Stella curled a hand into his soft hair and caressed it, drawing out, what could only be called a purr, from her now fiancée. She smiled when he closed his eyes in contented pleasure and kissed him tenderly. 

****

"What are you going to do instead?" 

Ray shuffled his weight and ducked his head. "Going to join the police academy, be a cop."

"Why can't you finish college first?" 

Looking up at Stella, Ray frowned. "It isn't for me, Stella you know that, I know that. I can make a difference as a cop, do some good. We talked about this."

"No, you talked about it and then got mad because I disagreed with you. What's your father going to say?" 

"I don't care right now, alright! This isn't about him or you, this is about me."

"And what about us, Ray?"

Ray stared at Stella long and hard with wide eyes, a gaze which she returned just as fiercely. Finally, he dropped his gaze and shrank back into himself. "Aw hell, Stella, I don't want to fight...I just…I want to do this, it'll be good for us. We'll be on the same side, fighting crime and getting justice, together." He reached tentatively for her hand. "Please? I need you on this, Stell. Are you with me?" 

"Fine but I don't have to like it," she conceded with a sigh. 

"It'll be good, Stell, I'll be good at this. You'll see, we're going to be okay." He wrapped her up tightly in his arms and rubbed his cheek against hers affectionately. Everything was going to be okay.

****

"He's lucky to be alive." 

"He's a hard man to keep down."

"I can't disagree with you. The Detective must have accrued an extra life from somewhere. The bullet missed anything vital, the odds of that happening alone are-"

"--he's going to be okay?"

Ray tried to turn his head at the sound of Ben's voice, open his eyes, look at him, anything but it was no use. He probably would've been afraid if he hadn't felt the solid weight of Ben's hand in his. 

"I'm honestly astonished at his progress but yes. He'll make a full recovery but he does need his rest, Constable--"

"-- I'm not leaving."

"But--"

"--Doc, it will be easier on everyone if you just accept it. Neither hell nor high water can get Constable Fraser to go if he doesn't want to go."

Smiling inwardly at the sound of the Lieutenant's voice, Ray squeezed the hand holding his and slipped easily back into sleep.

****

**1988**

"Suspect has been spotted at the abandoned packing plant. Officer requesting backup, I repeat; send back up, to the old packing plant on seventh." Ray put on his glasses and drew his gun. He crept stealthily towards the building. It was pitch black on this side of town, a perfect place to hide someone you didn't want to be found. He'd slipped up though, the bastard had made a mistake and Ray was all over that mistake. 

Creeping silently closer he heard shouting. A kid's life was at stake and the kidnapper was angry, he couldn't afford to wait for backup to spook him and maybe get the kid killed. He could make out two voices and looked around for a way to get into the building. He spotted a window high up by a drain pipe. His mom's voice echoed through his skull, 'use it to do good' and he grinned. 

****

"...to Stanley Kowalski for his actions in the line of duty, which upheld what it means to be a police officer and in doing so saved a young boy's life, we award this citation for bravery." 

Ray stood at the applause and shifted his sling awkwardly. He strode towards the podium and saluted the commissioner who then shook his available hand and handed him the citation. 

Glancing over at the audience, Ray caught Stella's eye and gave her a small but proud smile. Her answering smile was tight-lipped but genuine and he became self consciously aware of the sling supporting his injured shoulder where he'd been shot rescuing the aforementioned young boy. 

After Stella had recovered from the sheer terrifying situation of her husband getting shot in the line of duty, they had talked (argued) about him putting himself in unnecessary danger. Ray personally didn't feel that it was unnecessary, not when someone else's life was at stake. Especially the life of a kid. Stella had not agreed, not that that came as a huge surprise to Ray.

She had been understandably scared but this was his job, what he wanted to do and he was  _ good _ at it. They had agreed to disagree on the matter but Ray held hope that she would come around. She loved him after all and knew he loved her. He could wear fancy suits in front of her friends, learn the big words she wanted him to say, keep a lid on his temper but he would not give up being a cop. She couldn't ask that of him, he hoped she never would.

That didn't stop the argument from occurring two years later though. It had been explosive and prolonged until Stella had had the final word. "Why does our life mean less than theirs, Ray? And you want to bring kids into this sort of life?" She'd demanded with tears staining her cheeks. "What am I supposed to do, if you get killed?" 

Three years after that, the third time he'd taken what Stella called an undue risk in the line of duty, attempting to play hero, she didn't even bother with the argument. Ray just slept on the couch. 

**** 

Opening his eyes, Ray felt like he'd not opened them in years. Blinking to clear his vision, he turned his head and saw Ben passed out on the chair beside his bed. He was dressed down to his Henley, his ruined blood-stained Serge tunic had been flung into a chair in the corner of the room. His Mountie had a prominent shadow on his jaw and he was going to get a crick in his neck with his head at that angle. Yet, Ray smiled, everything was fine as long as Ben was with him. He felt light, warm, and loopy. 

They'd got some good drugs floating about his system and right now he didn't care. "Ben," he uttered, reaching a hand for him, getting momentarily fascinated by the wires and tubes attached to his body. 

Being the ever alert Mountie that he was, Ben was instantly awake and leaning over Ray's bedside, removing the wires from his grasp gently. His icy blue eyes were shiny and wide. "Ray," he took his hand and kissed it softly, his other hand lightly stroking his hair. 

Ray honest to goodness purred, Ben's warm hands felt so good. "M'sorry...was stupid…" he whispered hoarsely, his throat sore and tight.

Shaking his head, Ben gave him a watery smile. "You were very brave, Ray. You saved that little girl and her mother." 

Humming when dry lips pressed against his ever so lightly, Ray frowned a little. "Was instinct…didn't want to…wouldn't want...to leave you..."

"I know. It's alright, Ray. You appear to be blessed with a surfeit of lives." 

He huffed a laugh at that. "Half-cat freak."

Ben let out a half sobbed laugh. "My brave half-cat freak." 

"Yeah, yours," Ray gazed lovingly up at him and blinked slowly, wanting to wipe away the shadow of fear lingering in Ben's eyes. He tugged him down for another sweet kiss and when it broke, pressed their foreheads together. Ray tilted his head up and lightly licked the tip of Ben's nose, murmuring softly as Ben's hot tears fell onto his face. "M'okay, Ben… everything's going to be okay." 

****

**1998**

His life had spun out of all control. Divorced and alone, he drank to dull the pain, he fucked to hide from the emptiness, and smoked to hold onto one thing that gave him the smallest bit of pleasure. He had nothing left to care about. Stella had taken everything he was and had left him gutted and bleeding out on the floor. 

Well, not everything. The feline part inside him felt feral and wild with pain and loss. She had been his whole world but he'd never been hers. He steadfastly watched the grey smoke curl up and twirl above him in the light breeze. She'd never known that there was more of him to take but he had no doubt if she had known she would have found a way to rip that from him too. 

Right now, the cat part of him, the part of him he'd resisted and resented at times, was the only part of him that insisted on surviving. Animal instinct or something. So he embraced it. Hell, at least it kept him from eating his own gun. So what if it had taken to stalking her bitterly from afar, unable to comprehend she was no longer his, no longer bonded to him. If she had ever been. He wasn't so sure anymore.

All he had was his job and now even that was hanging by a thread. He'd been reckless, acted purely on instinct, not waited for backup. He could have been killed but something or someone was looking out for stupid queer cat freaks named Stanley Raymond Kowalski and he'd escaped with a bullet graze to his temple. Hurt like a bitch but he was alive. He supposed he should be grateful. 

His Lieutenant wasn't quite as glad to have him hanging around biting the heads off of anyone who so much as looked at him wrong and had handed him a new assignment. An old friend, Lieutenant Welsh, had asked for his help personally. Wanted a man he could trust. Ray looked down at the transfer papers in his hand. A new name, a new life, one that came with a Mountie and a wolf apparently. Go figure. Finally giving in to the urge to run away and lick his wounds, he signed on the dotted line.

****

Being partnered with a Mountie was both easier and harder than Ray had anticipated. Easy because the man was a great cop, an even better partner, and the best friend Ray had ever had. Not to mention he was very easy on the eyes, smart as a whip, and gave as good as he got when Ray got in his face and pushed his buttons. Which he made a point to do often. Difficult because not only had he fallen hard for the man, insufferably pedantic though he could be at times, nothing got past Fraser. The longer they worked together, the harder and harder it got to keep his secret. Both of them. 

It was the spilt milk that finally gave him away, Ray was sure of it. He could tell Fraser had been watching him closely, more closely than usual, the cogs turning in that beautiful head of his. He knew, damnit, he'd figured it out. Ray had known he'd grown too comfortable with the man but it had felt right, in a way things hadn't for a long time. He hadn't been able to help himself. So when he'd grabbed for that piece of string Fraser dangled in front of him before realising what he'd done, he wanted to kick himself in the head. Their eyes had met and he'd seen it written all over Fraser's face. This was it, Fraser knew, would freak out and high-tail it back to the Yukon to escape his queer freak of a partner. It wasn't fair.

That evening in his apartment, Ray had fully expected Fraser to confront him, freak out, something. He had not expected him to pet his hair in a way that felt so soothing, so wonderful, it made his toes curl. He purred in spite of himself. 

Then, he'd broken his golden rule. The one rule he kept for himself. He'd come out to Fraser, told him all about his cat half, and the man had looked at him with those intense blue eyes, and told him he didn't care. Had called Ray  _ his _ half-cat freak and had kissed him thoroughly when Ray told him to prove it. 

One thing had led to another from that point. Fraser's uniform was strewn from his sofa to his bedroom, abandoned in the heat of the moment, along with Ray's clothes. Fraser had proven it and then some with his hands and his tongue. 

Ray had known Fraser was tactile, had seen it in action enough times but the man rivaled him in just how tactile. Ray half wondered if Fraser didn't have some animal in him himself, perhaps a bit of wolf, that would make sense. He had sniffed, licked, and kissed the entire length of Ray's body before they'd even gotten to the good part. Not that Ray had been complaining. 

Quite the opposite in fact, especially when he'd been pinned to his bed by Fraser's weight. Fraser's hot naked body pressed flush to his own, both of them thrusting, kissing, biting, and moaning praises and encouragement until Ray had climaxed with a howl of release, biting down on the nearest part of Fraser he could reach. His orgasm-addled brain barely registered Fraser sobbing out his name with his own release before he'd collapsed bonelessly over him. 

They'd laid tangled together in his sheets, sharing sleepy kisses and whispered affections. Before sleep had claimed him, Ray had blatantly purred and nuzzled Fraser's hair and ear, licking tentatively, waiting to see how really okay with his nature Fraser was. 

To his surprise it elicited a very unmountie like giggle from Fraser who had then playfully licked his nose in return, his blue eyes gazing up at him, bright and open, full of humor and affection. 

Ray had kissed him so sweetly then, unable to remember a time he had felt so accepted, safe, and satisfied.

****


End file.
